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1/10a:
Lewis is funny:
Lewis (from
12/20:
Every student is funny in their own way)
approaches me and says, "Are you affected by
Global Warming?"
Me "Sure, are you?"
Him "Well, in what way?"
Me "Is your skin more suseptable to sunburn due to the
increase in UV ray penetration and a boost in the albedo effect?"
Him "I would assume so," he says, "I will have
to do some research on the internet, and then I will let you know."
This is a classic example of a highly functioning autistic
nutcase. Later on that same day he asks me "What is the
difference between raw sewage and cooked sewage?"
1/10b:
Retardism runs in Family:
Trevor is in third grade. He was
born with fetal alcohol syndrome and as a result if very slow. He is also very bad at reading.
He guesses at words, and doesn't even know his sounds. The most frustrating part
is that he doesn't care. It doesn't seem to bother him that, in his reading
group are 3 kindergarteners, retarded ones no les, and him.
Last year I had
Trevor's brother in my class. He has since
moved on to high school. He was scary. I
guarantee he will be on America's Most Wanted in like 10 years. Him and I fought
just about every day last year because he always wore bandanas to school, which
is against school rules. He would always try to compromise with me regarding the
bandana ("if I finish all my typing, can I wear it out to recess", etc.)
The most
annoying thing he would do was to constantly repeat song lyrics. At least
fifteen times a day he would, out of nowhere, bust out with "Jiggah-Jiggah
Slim Shady". I wanted to beat him. Near the end of last year he had changed
it to "Notorious B-I-G- baby baby". This wasn't nearly as bad as
"Jiggah-Jiggah Slim Shady" but was still annoying.
Trevor has replicated
this annoying habit. It is as if his brother and him concocted a New Years
resolution to piss me off. Trevor was sent to the principal's office, then
eventually home because he could not stop saying "Forty degrees when I tell
that bitch please." This was his answer to anything and everything. During
reading group I asked him to read one sentence from the book. The fucker puts
his finger on the sentence, and says, while pretending to be reading,
"Forty degrees when I tell that bitch please."
Luckily, the
kindergarteners are too young and retarded to comprehend this. Trevor is then
sent to the principal's office after doing the same thing three more times.
Today Trevor returns, and his new phrase is "Young
and dangerous, ain't nobody can hang with us." This one isn't as bad, but
it pisses me off because he is saying ain't. I don't want my kids to hear this,
because they will be prone to repeating it.
After several warnings, the behavior continues, so he goes
back to the office. The principal asks him if he needs to call his mom to come get
him.
Trevor's response (I kid you not), "Nigga Please."
He went home shortly after that.
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