nearly ruins date
is where I draw the fucking line. What happened to me last night was not part of
the contract I signed.
am at the grocery store with a guy I go out with sometimes. He had been studying
abroad for the last year, so I was really excited to see him. We are getting
beer to take to a Christmas party that we are going to, the location of which
happened to be in the area of the school that I work in.
are walking to the beer aisle, and I spot one of my tards pushing a grocery
cart. He is with his mom and brother. All I want is for me to get the beer and
get the hell out. I really didn't want to talk to them or subject my date to
them. We make it to the beer aisle, pick up some Heinekens, and head for the
are standing in line to pay when I hear a scream and a familiar voice yell
"I love you Miss [Sped]!".
think about turning around, but am suddenly rammed hard from behind with the
shopping cart. I had to grab the conveyor belt thing to keep from barreling
over. The tard then starts hugging me tightly, while screaming "I love you
Miss [Sped]!" This continues for at least a full minute.
date is dying--he is laughing so fucking hard that he is doubled over. People
are staring at me and the tard that is embracing me and yelling. The checker has
stopped checking and his full attention is focused on the tard and I. I cannot
stop wondering where the fuck his mom is.
know the solution to get him to calm down. But I am out with this amazing guy. I don't wanna do it. I really don't. But I realize the
tard will not shut up and get off of me until I do...
I start singing "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and
date is absolutely dying. Almost crying. But the tard shut the fuck up, and we
got out of there, no retards attached to me.
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