The Tard Blog


12/20a: Even punishments can be funny

If the tards are bad at recess, they have to sit at the "ball box" and untangle the jumpropes. It is virtually impossible for them. I make them do it so I can watch them get frustrated and kick and grunt. These are the small pleasures that make my day tolerable.



12/20b: Every student is funny in their own way

Emily ALWAYS unties her shoes. Due to retardation, she was unable to re-tie them. It got old fast.

Her mom used to send whole oranges, cold spaghetti, slabs of fucking beefstick, etc. for her lunch. Nothing is easy in special ed land.


Lewis is another case. Truly, a case. He is in fifth grade and likes to flap his arms like a bird. He is amusing though, because he will say things to you like "Do you have a hyperlink on your website to the Parkland School District." 


One time I said to him "Lewis, so funny you are." He stops, thinks for a while, and says "You said 'so funny you are' instead of 'you are so funny'..........I like that." He recently said, "wouldn't it be funny if you snuck a camera into Costco and secretly took a bunch of pictures of fat people. Then put them all on a website and call it [Ed. note-This is not a real website].



12/20c: Tard flips out, makes a mess

A lot of tards need to have a plastic grip on their pencil in order to develop necessary hand coordination and writing skills. Tom likes picking at his grip and taking it off. I told him that if he continued to fuck with it, I would take the pencil all together. Well, I took the pencil. Predictably, he freaked. 


This is the aftermath of his angry, violent temper tantrum.







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