#1: Malcolm's Chair of
Let me introduce you to Malcolm. He is a retarded child with mobility issues.
He can move around in a powered wheelchair by using a pointing device
attached to his left finger. It is very hard for Malcolm to use his arms or
legs, but he has full control of his facial muscles. He is always finding ways
to do things with his mouth and tongue. I once had to pry his face off of the
paper towel dispenser because he was "getting a paper towel for Leigh".
Malcolm has serious allergy problems. He is always snorting and lapping at his
running nose with his tongue. He spends much of the day looking like he's trying
to bite his own face and making noises like a grunting pig on speed.
Yesterday, Malcolm sneezed on Antonio. Antonio proceeded to leap several feet
out of his chair and slap Malcolm across the face with his reading book. Antonio
was raising the book for another swing when I grabbed his arm and yelled for one
of the aides to call the principal on the intercom.
Thinking the threat was over
I turned to start escorting Antonio out. All of the sudden Malcolm rammed his
wheelchair full speed into the back of Antonio's leg. He then backed up and hit
him again, and was backing up a third time before I placed my foot on the arm of
his electric battering ram.
Imagine this scene: I am practically dangling a tard by his arm, while fending
off another wheelchair tard with my foot when the principal walks in. Needless
to say I received quite a funny look from the principal. Both the boys received
a one day suspension. When Malcolm comes back I think I may take the battery out
of his chair.
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