#12: Macaroni Fiasco:
I had the tards make macaroni pictures today. They make thousands of these
things as they progress through the elementary school special needs program.
Despite that, most of them still have a lot of
trouble getting the general concept. I'll usually end of with one or two
students who don't use glue, and a few who don't use macaroni. The pictures they
make are so open to interpretation you could use them as a Rorschach test.
The arts and crafts time was progressing as normal, in essence, the tards were
yelling occasionally, getting frustrated and ripping up their pictures, or just
staring at the big Tupperware bowl of macaroni.
I was circling the table calming them down and
encouraging them to participate, when Kunte, who had been in the bathroom,
started walking back towards the table. He saw Antonio taking pieces of macaroni
off of his drying picture. Kunte yelled "MINE!" and started running towards the
table. The table was only five or six little tard steps away, but after about
three steps Kunte tripped over his own feet. He came crashing down face first on
table, covering himself in glue and macaroni, and toppling the table, macaroni,
and glue all over the floor. Antonio pulls his macaroni picture out from under
Kunte and starts hitting him with it.
Picture this scene: One screaming tard covered in
glue, pasta, and cardboard convulsing on my classroom floor, while another tard
beats him with a rolled up, half dry macaroni picture. As this happens, the rest
of the tards, even the ones who were just staring at the macaroni bowl, are now
screaming, crying, jumping up and down, or trying to hide under the table.
My aides calmed down most of the bystanders. I pulled Kunte off the table and
got his change of clothes (yes, we keep a change of clothes for all the tards)
out of my cabinet. I punished Antonio for hitting by telling him he had to clean
up all the loose macaroni. Because of his obsessive nature, this is appropriate
punishment for him, as having to deal with that kind of disorder drives him
to The Tard Blog