The Tard Blog

#4: Tard has touching problems

One of the interesting things about my job is that I get to deal with all kinds of students. They run the gambit from those barely able to curse at me, to ones that are just mildly retarded and fully capable of telling me off. One of my tards, Leigh suffers from just slightly decreased mental capacity due to her retardation. She is very aware of her surroundings and is quite capable of mimicking actions.

She has had problems in the past with "inappropriate touching", by which I mean she was caught "touching others inappropriately". This is how you phrase it in the letter to a parent, instead of saying "I caught your retarded daughter in the coat room rubbing another tards chest and moaning loudly."


I believe that she learns most of these actions from her mother. A few weeks ago Leigh shared a story of how "mommy has friends that bang her head against the wall all night, but she said it was a good banging". I have Leigh consult me before telling stories to the group now.

Needless to say I found this a little more than disturbing, and I have tried to schedule a meeting with Leigh's parent to talk about this. Of course I haven't heard back, but I'm used to that, she's probably a little too "busy."

Anyway the other day I heard loud "porno-style" moaning from the coat room, and noticed Leigh wasn't at her seat. I went to
investigate, when Leigh waddled out of the coat room as fast as she could with her pants around her ankles. She was moving so quickly that she tripped and slammed onto the floor.


Glancing back at the coat room I saw all the kids lunches open and all the coats piled up in the corner. I have no idea what the fuck was going on, so I pulled up Leigh's pants, buzzed the principal, and told the kids we were all eating at the cafeteria today.







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